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1 Star Movies

Every line must rhyme in Les Misérables

Les Misérables left me cold
Nothing shown and everything told

All that hollering and shrieking
Leaves my head aching

Every line must rhyme
Across its excessive running time

No subtlety of emotion
The screen filled with commotion

Eddie Redmayne sings a song atop a pile of doors
My god what a bore

Hugh Jackman sheathes his claws
To grimace and overemote without pause

Russell Crowe huffs and puffs
Cashing his check to afford more foodstuffs

It’s Anne Hathaway’s big Oscar chance
Which she almost ruined by forgetting her underpants

Every theater nerd knows all the words
Everyone else calls it a turd

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