Get a Real Job! or, Thoughts on

Bringing new meaning to the phrase “get a real job,” I now learn that my last full-time gig was for a “fake company.” Years after the fact of its demise, founder Josh Harris has pronounced to Boing Boing that Pseudo Programs Inc. was in fact a massive performance art piece, aided and abetted by […]

Only in New York, Pt. II

INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY Crowded Upper East Side coffee shop. A older male patron enters and approaches a hipster with a laptop. PATRON: Excuse me, is this seat taken? HIPSTER: Uh, my friend is coming… PATRON: Well, don’t worry, I have a small ass which doesn’t take up too much room. And… scene.

Only in New York, Pt. II

INT: POST OFFICE – DAY A bustling morning at the Post Office. POSTAL EMPLOYEE: Next! A PATRON walks up to the counter. PATRON: Christmas stamps, please. POSTAL EMPLOYEE: Do you want the religious or the other ones? PATRON: (with great conviction) I am a Catholic! And… scene.

Willfully Ignorant Design

A profoundly depressing statistic from today’s New York Times: “According to a CBS News poll last month, 51 percent of Americans reject the theory of evolution, saying that God created humans in their present form. And reflecting a longstanding sentiment, 38 percent of Americans believe that creationism should be taught instead of evolution, according to […]

Stayin’ Alive

Not as in getting funky, but as in not getting blown up on the subway. You know how every time there’s a terrorist attack, the media tricks some rescue worker or unfortunate bystander into using the phrase “body parts everywhere”, which they can then morbidly quote with relish? The next batch of human soup you […]

I Heart Katamari

Best. Game. Ever. To give that statement a little context: I’m a novice gamer at best. My cruel, heartless, Dickensian parents wouldn’t let me have an Atari growing up (kidding, Mom & Dad! I’m the better for it) so I’m a latecomer to all this beeping, flashing, vibrating analog joysticking stuff. A few years ago, […]

My Eyes Bleed

After an entire summer of no TV at all (Netflix, like Ben & Jerry’s, doesn’t count), I watched three hours in a row tonight and my eyes are still uncrossing. Everybody knows the old saw about television being the opiate of the masses (opium must flourish in vast wastelands). But when exactly did TV’s drug […]

On Neil Gaiman and Becoming an Idiot at Book Signings

Neil Gaiman I went to the Neil Gaiman reading & signing at Barnes & Noble here in New York City tonight. Even though I knew he’s about as much of a rock star as a writer can get, I naively didn’t get in line until after he finished speaking. Neil heroically pledged to stay as […]

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