The Inter­na­tional is a dis­ap­point­ment com­ing from Tom Tyk­wer, direc­tor of the kinetic clas­sic Run Lola Run, the mys­ti­cal The Princess & The War­rior, and the lunatic, per­verse Per­fume. The Inter­na­tional is by far his most con­ven­tional in sub­ject mat­ter, and lack­ing his energy and spirit. It espe­cially suf­fers in com­par­i­son to its clos­est con­tem­po­rary rivals in the globe-trotting action/suspense field, Jason Bourne and James Bond.

Eric Singer’s orig­i­nal screen­play unrav­els the sort of para­noid con­spir­acy the­ory that only exists in fic­tion, but in fact is based on an actual scan­dal involv­ing the Bank of Credit and Com­merce Inter­na­tional (BCCI), which col­lapsed in 1991. But the fic­tion­al­ized story makes use of ridicu­lous con­trivances that reduce a mas­sive inter­na­tional inves­ti­ga­tion down to a two-handed oper­a­tion involv­ing dis­graced Inter­pol agent Louis Salinger (Clive Owen) and Man­hat­tan Dis­trict Attor­ney (and MILF) Eleanor Whit­man (Naomi Watts).

For the love of God, will some­body please tell me where Tyk­wer hid the camera?!

Speak­ing of, The Inter­na­tional is a true waste of Watts’ tal­ent (watch Mul­hol­land Drive and Funny Games for a primer). A poten­tially shock­ing moment comes when her char­ac­ter is hit by a car. Not to sound blood­thirsty, but it might have been very inter­est­ing for her char­ac­ter to make an untimely exit from the movie, à la Julianne Moore in Chil­dren of Men (read The Dork Report review) and Janet Leigh in Psy­cho. But she escapes with just an arm brace, with as lit­tle impact on the plot as on her body.

Toy Guggen­heim… toy Guggenheim…

The International’s best pur­pose is per­haps as porn for those with an archi­tec­tural fetish. Much has been made of the production’s recre­ation of New York’s Guggen­heim Museum inte­rior on a Euro­pean sound­stage. But the extended fire­fight sequence is dis­ap­point­ing and clumsy. Michael Mann is often cred­ited for being the mas­ter of such sequences, and for good rea­son. He uti­lizes his total com­mand of space in Heat’s street shootout and Collateral’s night­club bat­tle. You never for­get where all the char­ac­ters are in rela­tion to each other and the sur­round­ing archi­tec­ture. Like­wise Paul Green­grass’ work in The Bourne Supremacy and Ulti­ma­tum. But The International’s grand shootout is a sense­less jum­ble, and even the total num­ber of assailants seems to wildly fluc­tu­ate. First there are two… no, four… no, eight! And the last two are right above you… no, wait, they’re loi­ter­ing on the ground floor. A mess.

Offi­cial movie site: www.everybodypays.com

Buy the DVD from Ama­zon and kick back a few pen­nies to The Dork Report.