For a mere 8 dollars (sent whizzing virtually through the interwebs to The Big Word Project), I have redefined two words in the English dictionary. All in the name of promoting The Blog That Few Read The Dork Report.

Everyone, take out your pens and scratch out the following two words from your dictionaries: CHAD and DORK, ’cause they belong to me now, fools.

via Daring Fireball

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Written by Chad Ossman

The Onion AV Club’s How’d it get burned? 22 film remakes dramatically different from the originals piece points out that while Al Pacino’s Scarface has become a modern gangsta icon, nobody slaps the original Paul Muni incarnation from 1930 onto t-shirts, posters, and cheezy mirrors for sale by street vendors. A quick Googling confirmed that there are no 1930/1983 Scarface mashups to be found. So I set out to rectify that with some quickie Photoshop jobs.

It has crossed my mind that the reason no one seems to have posted this sort of thing on the intertubes yet is that it’s probably semi-illegal. If not against the movie studios owning the rights to the property, then at least to the estate of Paul Muni. But this is just for fun, and I’m not trying to sell t-shirts or anything.

UPDATE: I took another spin through Google after finishing the above post, and found a few examples of prior art:

“Keep it Gangsta T-Shirt” on Cafe Press: one of the only “gangsta” graphics I could find that used 1930s imagery.

GangsterGigars.com: exactly what it sounds like.

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Written by Chad Ossman

Whut- duh- huh? Wow!

The Daily Telegraph: World’s Only Blue-Eyed Koala

Gadzooks! A mutant koala kutie-pie

Flickr: Pizzler’s Albino Moose photos

How not to be seen

Today’s Dork Report featured guest reporting by Dave.

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Written by Chad Ossman

Kids-in-Mind is my new favorite site, boldly making no distinction between parents (looking for information about the latest piece of crap their kids are begging to see) and right-wing cultural warriors (looking for something else upon which to blame society). According to my non-scientific survey of the site contents, Scary Movie is possibly the most offensive, child-warping movie ever made, out-raunching even Borat. Honorable mention: a surprisingly strong showing by Pride & Prejudice with a Sex/Nudity score of 3 out of a possible 10. Excerpt: “A woman kisses a man’s hand and they hug. A man and a woman argue, and then they come close to kissing each other but do not.” (featuring guest reporting by Andrea)

A fascinating scrap of Hollywood history is uncovered by the New York Post: learn not only that Hitchcock snubbed Speilberg, but more interestingly, why! (guest submission from Andrea)

Smashing Magazine inspires us with 50 wee 16×16 favicon masterpieces, organized into Web 2.0-cliche categories like “Petal.” Also linked: another huge favicon collection at Delta Tango Bravo.

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Written by Chad Ossman

Horning in on our spottily-updated territory, Mean Teacher gets her Dork on and pens a proper concert review (but not before paying the price). That said, no, you’re never too old. Although it’s probably best The Peppers don’t rock out with their socks out anymore… do they?

Peter Gabriel’s gone indie. (spotted on Genesis-Movement)

This came out of nowhere… at least to me! Microsoft enters the web design & production market with Expression, analogous to Adobe Creative Suite in every area except Flash. Poor Adobe didn’t have a chance to properly enjoy themselves after buying their only competitor. (spotted on Daring Fireball)

Videos of the 20 Greatest Guitar Solos of All Time (according to Guitar World, that is, leading to an extreme “classic rock” prejudice). In other words, 20 ugly men posturing and grimacing before thousands of sycophants. (spotted on Boing Boing)

Khoi Vinh notices the iPhone uses Helvetica throughout. (spotted on Daring Fireball)

Do you have Design Disease? Is it wrong that I’m jealous I have only a mild case compared to this laundry list of advanced symptoms? (spotted on Kottke.org)

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Written by Chad Ossman

Wikipedia’s Unusual Articles entry does exactly what it says on the tin, and it’s a veritable goldmine. Just to name a few gems at random: Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo, famous body parts, list of self-referential songs.

Bouncing back from last year’s biking injury, Michael Brook lines up his 2007 tour dates.

Hey, there are dorks in Congress, too! (guest submission from Andrea)

Frack up your desktop with some Battlestar Galactica icons from The Iconfactory.

I’m not done with Battlestar Galactica dork items yet! This gag reel is a rarity: genuinely funny to someone outside of the cast & crew, and perhaps even to non-fans. (spotted on TV Squad):

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Written by Chad Ossman

A belated announcement: Mean Teacher opts for a new blog persona in the new year: Ordinary World. Thrill and wonder at her first-class movie reviews and tales from the catbox.

Nintendo stuff on my cat: WiiKitty.

Twitterific, a new (free!) application from The IconFactory. Twitter allows one to never lose touch with all your virtual friends, Web 2.0-style, and strike a blow to privacy and productivity everywhere.

DGM Live News uncovers a startling, previously unheard track featuring an extremely rare (perhaps for good reason) vocal performance by Robert Fripp over some Peter Gabriel noodling, circa 1977-78 or so. More where this came from, please!

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Written by Chad Ossman

Fortune’s piece on Apple’s secrecy surrounding the iPhone highlights two points I’ve always wondered about: 1. in a business world where Hewlett-Packard is the news for literally spying on its own employees for high-level boardroom leaks to the press, Apple’s security measures look decidedly quaint. And 2. as a web designer, I often think that of the privlieged few assumed to have early access to items like this goes beyond the highly-paid CEOs, managers, and industrial design teams; what about the poor schmoes who have to crank out the web sites, product packaging, and manuals without even being able to tell their family and loved ones what they did at work all day, honey?

The New York Times examines 24’s politics, and strongly reminds me why I refuse to watch the show to which I was once addicted.

Rolling Stone posts video of Joseph Arthur and The Lonely Astronauts live.

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Written by Chad Ossman

How much do Lost fans not know? IGN’s Top 50 Lost Loose Ends. (spotted on TV Squad)

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Python Terry Jones steps out of drag and crunches the numbers on the Iraq war (spotted on Neil Gaiman’s Journal):

This will bring the total spent on the White House’s current obsession with war to almost $500bn - enough to have given every US citizen $1,600 each. I wonder which the voters would have gone for if given the choice: shall we (a) give every American $1,600 or (b) spend the money on bombing a country in the Middle East that doesn’t use lavatory paper?

Of course, there’s another thing that George Bush could have done with the money: he could have given every Iraqi $18,700.

A dream interview, no matter which way around: RAW runs the complete transcription of Alan Moore vs Brian Eno originally on BBC Radio 4.

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Written by Chad Ossman