Hey Man, It’s Your Trip: Woodstock

Woodstock movie poster

 

The clas­sic fea­ture doc­u­men­tary Wood­stock cap­tures the full expe­ri­ence of the near-mythical 1969 fes­ti­val of the same name, from sep­tic tanks to traf­fic jams to brown acid. It remains an impor­tant record of one of the most peace­ful spon­ta­neous gath­er­ings in human his­tory, not to men­tion the brief-lived spirit of the hip­pie move­ment as a whole.

The orig­i­nal ver­sion directed by Michael Wedleigh, with a young Mar­tin Scors­ese as assis­tant direc­tor and edi­tor and Thelma Schoon­maker as edi­tor, was released the fol­low­ing year and played con­tin­u­ously in the­aters for years. Oddly, it is the only film that the last sur­viv­ing human on earth (Charl­ton Hes­ton) chooses to watch repeat­edly in The Ωmega Man. A Director’s Cut added 40 min­utes of addi­tional footage in 1994, but the new 40th Anniver­sary edi­tion is a whop­ping four hours long, “Inter­fuck­ing­mis­sion” included. It’s unclear whether or not Scors­ese and Schoon­maker were involved in either of the expanded editions.

The film is exper­i­men­tal in for­mat, extend­ing even to the aspect ratio. Nearly the first ten min­utes are win­dow­paned, lead­ing me at first to sus­pect some­thing was wrong with the DVD. But the movie then alter­nates from win­dow­pane to widescreen to splitscreen. The only other movie I can think of off the top of my head that played as loose with aspect ratios is the open­ing sequence to Frank Tashlin’s The Girl Can’t Help It.

Jimi Hendrix in Woodstock

With a leisurely four hours to fill, the first full 25 min­utes con­cern the arrival of early fans while the stage is still being con­structed. A surely ironic mural on one of the famously psy­che­delic car­a­van buses reads “even God loves Amer­ica.” One of the festival’s most iconic images — a pair of nuns flash­ing a peace sign to cam­era — may have been in fact par­tially staged (as alleged in Ang Lee’s Tak­ing Wood­stock). Based on the mem­oirs of Elliot Tiber, Lee’s film goes on to tell a con­flict­ing, largely dis­counted, ver­sion of events in which a small town mis­fit mid­wifes the fes­ti­val, which in turn frees his iden­tity and trans­forms his family.

The first per­for­mance footage in Wood­stock is an extended unbro­ken close-up of Richie Havens’ intense solo per­for­mance. Finally, the cam­eras turn the other way around and look out at the stag­ger­ingly huge crowd. Indeed, as later scenes make clear, so many peo­ple arrived that the ear­li­est arrivals couldn’t phys­i­cally leave. That such a large num­ber of peo­ple coex­isted peace­fully while quite lit­er­ally being trapped is a minor miracle.

Every­body knows the tale of the gar­gan­tuan crowd, but I under­es­ti­mated the scale of the con­cert itself. In my mind, I always pic­tured a tiny stage dwarfed by throngs of hip­pies, but in actu­al­ity, the fes­ti­val itself would have been a large pro­duc­tion even if the crowds hadn’t mate­ri­al­ized. Before sim­ple logic forced the orga­niz­ers to waive the ticket fee, the fes­ti­val had a multi-million-dollar bud­get foot­ing a mas­sive stage, huge tow­ers, power, food, light­ing, and sound system.

A scene from Woodstock

Not all the acts would nec­es­sar­ily be known to later gen­er­a­tions watch­ing the doc­u­men­tary, but there is some sur­pris­ing vari­ety in genre; Joan Baez and Arlo Guthrie’s folk, Sly and the Fam­ily Stone’s funk, and Sha-Na-Na’s retro pop went a long way towards break­ing up the some­times tedious stretches of blues-rock jam­ming. Some key per­for­mances either weren’t filmed (such as The Band, at their request) or shot but excluded from the film (par­tic­u­larly The Grate­ful Dead, whose per­for­mance was com­pro­mised by heavy rain and tech­ni­cal issues), and some of the era’s top acts were absent alto­gether (most notably The Bea­t­les, Bob Dylan, and The Rolling Stones — but Scors­ese would later catch up with all three of them in his own doc­u­men­taries Liv­ing In the Mate­r­ial World, No Direc­tion Home, and Shine a Light). Per­son­ally, I most liked see­ing The Who and Jimi Hen­drix at the height of their pow­ers, and was pleas­antly sur­prised by an obvi­ously ner­vous Crosby, Stills and Nash. CSN claimed it was only their sec­ond gig, and they seemed vis­i­bly relieved to receive applause. Each act was allot­ted only 1–2 songs each, even in the extended ver­sion of the film, which for many of these artists is not enough. I would have liked to see more Who footage, espe­cially the famous moment where the often tem­pes­tu­ous Pete Town­shend famously booted coun­ter­cul­tural icon Abbie Hoff­man off­stage: “Fuck off! Fuck off my fuck­ing stage!”

Inter­views with audi­ence mem­bers dur­ing the con­cert demon­strate that they were already self-mythologizing the event as it was occur­ring around them. A leg­end quickly spread that the gath­er­ing was the equiv­a­lent of a spon­ta­neous city. Not quite, but the actual total of 500,000 peo­ple was noth­ing to sneeze at. But they were all cor­rect that it was noth­ing less than a mir­a­cle that that many peo­ple could gather in one place and sur­vive a mas­sive storm on the sec­ond day, all with­out vio­lence. That is, aside from Town­shend again: “The next fuckin’ per­son that walks across this stage is gonna get fuckin’ killed!”

The film includes co-organizer Michael Lang and con­cert­go­ers fac­ing hos­tile inter­view­ers deter­mined to express their bias that rock music is empty and mean­ing­less. Scors­ese empha­sized sim­i­lar con­fronta­tions in No Direc­tion Home, where Dylan is dogged by con­de­scend­ing reporters deter­mined to under­mine his polit­i­cal and social import.

Wedleigh’s cam­era often seeks out nude young women. The bla­tant scopophilia misses the point of the bur­geon­ing equal­ity between the sexes by the late 60s — not only are the hip­pies embrac­ing free love, they’re also obvi­ously com­fort­able enough in each other’s com­pany to bathe together like chil­dren in a bath­tub. I can’t believe I’m com­plain­ing about the sight of naked girls, but Wedleigh’s cam­era is often just plain lustful.

Aside from free love and unashamed nudity, the next most alien aspect for con­tem­po­rary post-War-on-Drugs view­ers is the prag­matic atti­tude towards con­trolled sub­stances. One of the first peo­ple seen bran­dish­ing a joint onscreen is none other than Jerry Gar­cia, despite his band not appear­ing in the per­for­mance footage. Everybody’s heard about the infa­mously dodgy brown acid, but dig this emi­nently prag­matic announce­ment issued from the stage: “Hey man, it’s your trip, don’t let me stop you, but if you feel like exper­i­ment­ing, try half a tab.” In con­trast, we see a huge crowd prac­tic­ing Kun­dalini yoga, which the guru espouses as an alter­na­tive to drugs.

One of the most strik­ing sequences is when the doc­u­men­tary steps back from the pro­ceed­ings to take in another angle that wouldn’t ordi­nary be cov­ered in a typ­i­cal con­cert doc­u­men­tary. Wedleigh takes the time to meet a Port-O-San main­tainer with one son attend­ing the fes­ti­val and another fly­ing heli­copters in the Viet­nam DMZ.


Buy any of these fine prod­ucts from Ama­zon and kick back a few pen­nies to The Dork Report:

 


Champagne & Reefer: Rolling Stones Shine a Light

Rolling Stones Shine a Light movie poster

 

Mar­tin Scorsese’s long his­tory with musi­cal doc­u­men­taries and con­cert films includes work­ing as assis­tant direc­tor and edi­tor on Wood­stock (1970), direct­ing an account of The Band’s final con­cert as The Last Waltz (1978), exec­u­tive pro­duc­ing and design­ing the shots for Peter Gabriel’s con­cert film PoV (Point of View) (1987), direct­ing part of the mas­sive The Blues tele­vi­sion doc­u­men­tary series (2003), and craft­ing the defin­i­tive Bob Dylan and George Har­ri­son doc­u­men­taries No Direc­tion Home (2005) and Liv­ing in the Mate­r­ial World (2010).

Shine a Light is a lit­tle of all the above, but mostly just a straight­for­ward con­cert film fea­tur­ing the Rolling Stones in a ben­e­fit con­cert thrown at New York City’s Bea­con The­ater in 2006. The Stones are joined by spe­cial guests Christina Aguil­era, Jack White, and Buddy “Moth­er­fucker” Guy (watch the DVD bonus fea­tures for the enter­tain­ing story behind that moniker). It was orig­i­nally released in IMAX, and no doubt loses some­thing in trans­la­tion from 50-foot the­aters screens to small tele­vi­sions. U2 did them one up by releas­ing U23D in 3D IMAX the year before.

Martin Scorsese and The Rolling Stones in Shine a LightAre you sure you want to see these faces in 50-foot-high IMAX?

Like Gimme Shel­ter (1970), a doc­u­men­tary account of the fall­out fol­low­ing the killing of a fan at a Stones con­cert in Alta­mont, Shine a Light is some­times less than totally flat­ter­ing. Mick Jag­ger is seen to be so ruth­lessly single-minded that he will not deign to col­lab­o­rate with Scors­ese. Even when meet­ing no less than Bill Clin­ton, he only wants to talk about whether or not the light­ing will dis­tract from his per­for­mance. But to be fair, The Rolling Stones hit the big time long before either Scors­ese or Clin­ton, so per­haps Jagger’s van­ity may be par­tially excused. Let it not be said that the old codgers in the band don’t embrace new tech­nol­ogy; wit­ness as Jag­ger strikes clas­sic poses for fans in the front row to cap­ture on their mobiles.

Keith Richards and Buddy Guy in The Rolling Stones Shine a LightKeef jams with Buddy “Moth­er­fucker” Guy

Scors­ese is famously a fan, uti­liz­ing Rolling Stones tunes in his sound­tracks so often that Jag­ger now jokes that “Shine a Light was the only film of his not to fea­ture the song Gimme Shel­ter.” I like The Stones well enough, but I’m not a huge fan. Here’s what a sim­i­larly casual lis­tener might learn of them based on Shine a Light:

  • Char­lie Watts, also a suc­cess­ful artist and jazz drum­mer out­side of the Stones machine, comes across as quite dis­tracted, almost to the extent of appear­ing senile (or maybe even more drug-addled than Keith Richards). He behaves the same in vin­tage inter­views scat­tered through­out Shine a Light, so per­haps it’s just his nat­ural demeanor. But there’s no doubt he can still rock his stripped-down drum kit.
  • Mick Jag­ger still has the body of a pre­teen girl, albeit one with impres­sively ripped arms.
  • Every­body knows the leg­endary Keith Richards has abused his body to such an extent that he has no busi­ness still walk­ing this earth. He jokes in the film that he must come from hardy stock, but maybe he is in fact already dead, see­ing as how he barely notices a kiss from Christina Aguil­era. He still has chops, though, beyond going through the highly rehearsed motions of a typ­i­cal Stones spec­ta­cle. In a telling moment, the cam­era catches him alone, play­ing some moody blues licks to him­self as the rest of the band hobnobs.
  • Ron­nie Wood comes across the best, remind­ing fans that although Keith Richards may have co-written many of the most pop­u­lar and endur­ing rock songs of all time, he’s the one that plays all the solos.

Scors­ese includes him­self as a char­ac­ter in his own film, appear­ing at least twice in a char­ac­ter­is­tic track­ing shot that caps the film: fol­low­ing the Stones off­stage and out of the the­ater, and fly­ing up into the night sky over New York. The world will have to wait for Scorsese’s true doc­u­men­tary on the Stones to equal No Direc­tion Home and Liv­ing in the Mate­r­ial World as a true fan’s deep look into some of the world’s most inter­est­ing celebrities.


Offi­cial movie site: www.shinealightmovie.com/

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Scratching in the Dirt: Peter Gabriel’s Scratch My Back

Peter Gabriel Scratch My Back

 

As a Peter Gabriel fan for over two decades, it’s dif­fi­cult to admit that I find myself strug­gling to appre­ci­ate his first new album in years.

There have always been three core things to love about Gabriel’s work: his lit­er­ate song­writ­ing, metic­u­lous sound­scapes, and emo­tion­ally expres­sive voice. Behind the creep­ily organic album art, Scratch My Back is an exper­i­ment in sub­trac­tion. It finds Gabriel cov­er­ing other artists’ songs, accom­pa­nied only by solo piano or orches­tra (the oddly defen­sive mar­ket­ing pitch “No drums, no gui­tars” says it all). That leaves only the voice. Soul­ful and grav­elly even as a teenage cofounder of Gen­e­sis in 1967, Gabriel’s voice should be more than enough to jus­tify any­thing, so my pat reduc­tion here is not totally fair. Gabriel and John Met­calfe clearly labored over these orches­tral arrange­ments, but I miss the com­plex son­ics of the rock and world music instru­men­ta­tion that has char­ac­ter­ized most of his music for over 40 years.

Gabriel did very nearly the oppo­site a decade ago, when his high-concept mil­len­nium project Ovo made a point of cast­ing Paul Buchanan and The Cocteau Twins’ Eliz­a­beth Fraser to sing his songs. The most recent col­lec­tion of his own songs was 2002’s Up, fol­lowed in 2009 by the col­lab­o­ra­tive project Big Blue Ball. Casual fans of his music might not be aware that Gabriel is an active human­i­tar­ian, par­tic­u­larly as cofounder of Wit­ness and The Elders, so the tem­po­ral gap between his musi­cal ven­tures is not entirely explained by chronic pro­cras­ti­na­tion (although he would prob­a­bly be the first to admit he’s eas­ily dis­tracted). Gabriel has stated that he hopes to work on more song-swap projects in the future, but first plans to work on some of his own songs. How long until he pre­pares a new album over which he can claim sole authorship?

Peter Gabriel Scratch My Back

Gabriel told the New York Times:

I was try­ing to make a grown-up record […] This is treat­ing peo­ple as if they can han­dle dif­fi­cult music and words. Not that I’ve courted the low­est com­mon denom­i­na­tor before, but there’s a play­ful­ness and child­ish­ness in some of my older work that isn’t present on this record.”

He is pre­sum­ably refer­ring to the media satire of “Games With­out Fron­tiers” and “The Barry Williams Show”, the randy sex romps “Sledge­ham­mer” and “Kiss That Frog”, and the vaude­ville silli­ness of “Excuse Me” and “Big Time”. Gabriel is one of the few musi­cians that I first lis­tened to as a teenager, but whose music has aged with me. So I would have expected myself to appre­ci­ate an album of him cov­er­ing many songs that I know and love well (par­tic­u­larly David Bowie, Lou Reed, Elbow, and Talk­ing Heads), but I find that I don’t know what to make of Scratch my Back even after repeated listening.

Many song­writ­ers lose their dark edge as they age (case in point: Pink Floyd’s once tor­tured, prickly Roger Waters is now a big smi­ley softie), and by all accounts Gabriel should have been fol­low­ing that track too. After leav­ing Gen­e­sis in 1975 to deal with fam­ily issues, his first four solo albums were increas­ingly dark and sin­is­ter. But 1986’s So marked a notice­able turn­around in tone and an appar­ent psy­chic heal­ing. Now report­edly still pals with his old Gen­e­sis cohorts, aging grace­fully into a pot­belly and gnomish goa­tee, remar­ry­ing, father­ing two new sons, and rec­on­cil­ing with his two daugh­ters from a pre­vi­ous mar­riage, he seemed to be trans­form­ing into a cud­dly grand­fa­ther fig­ure. A trickle of releases over the past decade showed him favor­ing directly-worded songs for chil­dren, includ­ing the Oscar-nominated “That’ll Do” (from the movie Babe), the unsub­tle “Ani­mal Nation” (from The The Wild Thorn­ber­rys Movie), and “Down to Earth” (from Wall-E).

Sud­denly, he appears to have reversed back into depres­sive ter­ri­tory. Nearly every song cho­sen for Scratch My Back has been trans­formed into a mourn­ful dirge. Espe­cially when lis­tened to in one sit­ting, I find many of the inter­pre­ta­tions to be too depress­ing, and I actu­ally like depress­ing music. My favorite exam­ples along these lines are Michael Andrews and Gary Jules’ cry-your-guts-out cover of Tears for Fears’ “Mad World” (from the movie Don­nie Darko), and Elbow’s ago­niz­ingly heartrend­ing ver­sion of U2’s “Run­ning to Stand Still” (from the War Child ben­e­fit album Heroes).

Peter Gabriel Scratch My Back

Gabriel’s ver­sion of The Mag­netic Fields’ “Book of Love” has appar­ently become some­thing of a sen­sa­tion on YouTube, licensed in tele­vi­sion shows, and played at celebrity wed­dings. Per­haps I’m cold­hearted, but it does absolutely noth­ing for me. Song­writer Stephin Mer­ritt says his ver­sion was sar­cas­tic, while Gabriel’s is deadly serious:

At first I thought, How hilar­i­ous, he’s got a com­pletely dif­fer­ent take on the song. But after a few lis­tens I find it quite sweet. My ver­sion of the song focuses on the humor, and his focuses on the pathos. Of course, if I could sing like him I wouldn’t have to be a humorist.

Did Gabriel just plain miss Merritt’s point, or did he inten­tion­ally trans­form it into some­thing sen­ti­men­tal, singing the same words but alter­ing the instru­men­ta­tion and deliv­ery? All that said, some­thing to cher­ish in Gabriel’s cover is the pres­ence of his daugh­ter Melanie on back­ing vocals.

Elbow’s “Mir­ror­ball” is one of the most rav­ish­ing love songs I’ve heard. Elbow remixed Gabriel’s “More Than This” in 2002, pro­vid­ing a more organic rock struc­ture to Gabriel’s per­haps over-processed stu­dio orig­i­nal. But Gabriel does not return the favor here, turn­ing their gor­geous love song into a depres­sive bummer.

The once case where Gabriel’s bummer-o-vision may have actu­ally been appro­pri­ate is with Paul Simon’s “Boy in the Bub­ble”, which actu­ally does have very dark lyrics.

The orig­i­nal record­ing of David Bowie’s “Heroes” boasts an unfor­get­table lead gui­tar line from Robert Fripp, which by his own rules Gabriel must sub­tract. He sings Bowie’s Berlin-inspired lyrics in cracked, anguished tones, not an emo­tion I asso­ciate with the song.

The one song I liked imme­di­ately was “Lis­ten­ing Wind”. The orig­i­nal is one of the odder tracks on Talk­ing Heads’ Remain in Light, and Gabriel rather amaz­ingly draws out a catchy melody embed­ded in the exper­i­men­tal song.

The Spe­cial Edi­tion includes a sec­ond cd with four bonus tracks: a cover of The Kinks’ “Water­loo Sun­set” and alter­nate ver­sions of “The Book of Love”, “My Body is a Cage”, and “Heroes”. It might have been inter­est­ing to also include some of Gabriel’s past cov­ers, includ­ing The Bea­t­les’ “Straw­berry Fields”, Leonard Cohen’s “Suzanne”, and Joseph Arthur’s “In the Sun”. I would have also very much liked to hear instru­men­tal mixes of some of Metcalfe’s orches­tral arrangements.


Offi­cial Peter Gabriel site: www.petergabriel.com

Buy the Scratch My Back Spe­cial Edi­tion from Ama­zon and kick back a few pen­nies to The Dork Report.


Orifices in Place of Faces: The Flaming Lips: Christmas on Mars

Flaming Lips Christmas on Mars poster

 

The Flam­ing Lips are an odd band to have achieved main­stream suc­cess. After years of non­com­mer­cial psy­che­delic art-rock exper­i­men­ta­tion like the four-disc Zaireeka (1997), they broke through to mass appeal with The Soft Bul­letin (1999) and Yoshimi Bat­tles the Pink Robots (2002). The lat­ter fea­tures the finest exis­ten­tial love song to ever become the offi­cial rock song of Okla­homa:

Do you real­ize that every­one you know some­day will die
And instead of say­ing all of your good­byes, let them know
You real­ize that life goes fast
It’s hard to make the good things last
You real­ize the sun doesn’t go down
It’s just an illu­sion caused by the world spin­ning round
     – Do You Real­ize??

Wayne Coyne in Christmas on MarsThe Alien Super-Being gets great reception

The Lips also have more ambi­tion than most of their con­tem­po­raries when it comes to the audio­vi­sual aspects of a rock group’s respon­si­bil­i­ties. They were inspired by how some of their fore­bears did more than con­tract third par­ties to film them live in con­cert or to direct hagio­graphic doc­u­men­taries. The Bea­t­les (A Hard Day’s Night, Help!, Yel­low Sub­ma­rine), The Who (Tommy, Quadrophe­nia), and Pink Floyd (The Wall) all made fea­ture films that deserve to be con­sid­ered among their canon­i­cal audio-only discog­ra­phy. As Lips front­man Wayne Coyne told Pitch­fork:

we’d always talked about how the Flam­ing Lips should have a movie, like the Ramones have a movie, or the Bea­t­les. Not in a pre­ten­tious way, just like, “Yeah! We should have a movie!” We thought, “Well, why not? We’ll just sort of make one and see what happens.“

They began talk­ing up Christ­mas of Mars years ago, and the longer the delay, the greater the leg­end. It was rumored to be either an expen­sive folly on the scale of Axl Rose’s album Chi­nese Democ­racy (in pro­duc­tion for 14 years for a bud­get of $13 mil­lion) or an elab­o­rate meta joke. But in fact, the Lips did in all seri­ous­ness work on the project off and on for about seven years. They pro­duced the whole thing in their stomp­ing grounds of Okla­homa City, mostly around Coyne’s own home. For bet­ter or for worse, it’s entirely their vision, writ­ten and co-directed by Coyne, with Bradley Beesley (who directed sev­eral of the band’s music videos) and George Salisbury.

Surely Coyne & co. must have been famil­iar with the infa­mous b-movie Santa Claus Con­quers the Mar­tians (1964) (in the pub­lic domain and a free down­load). The spec­tac­u­larly awful movie was hilar­i­ously mas­sa­cred on both Mys­tery Sci­ence The­ater 3000 in 1991 and by Cin­e­matic Titanic in 2008. Like this igno­ble pre­de­ces­sor, Christ­mas on Mars is sad­dled with long sequences of bad dia­logue deliv­ered poorly by ama­teur actors. Even cameos by the Lips’ pals Fred Armisen and Adam Gold­berg are really awkward.

Partly inspired by the psy­che­delia of Stan­ley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey (read The Dork Report review), Christ­mas on Mars actu­ally owes more to the blue-collar atmos­phere of Rid­ley Scott’s Alien. The humans in Christ­mas on Mars are ordi­nary peo­ple in an extra­or­di­nary locale, strug­gling to sur­vive. One year prior, human­ity has estab­lished a dilap­i­dated space sta­tion on Mars. Worse, the crew mem­bers are slowly going mad and suf­fer­ing hal­lu­ci­na­tions. As they con­clude, man is not meant to live in space. The sole pur­pose of the colony, other than con­stantly repair­ing its decay­ing infra­struc­ture, seems to be to sup­port a test-tube baby due on mid­night, Christ­mas Eve. The only woman on the sta­tion lives in a bub­ble, feed­ing the baby through a tube grafted into her belly.

Wayne Coyne and Steven Drozd in Christmas on MarsThe Lips dis­cretely invite you to enhance your view­ing expe­ri­ence in what­ever man­ner you choose

Major Syr­tis (Lips mem­ber Steven Drozd) has taken it upon him­self to orga­nize a Christ­mas Pageant to raise morale. He is in fact par­tially respon­si­ble for their cur­rent predica­ment, as he appar­ently sac­ri­ficed stor­age space to cart some Christ­mas accou­trements to Mars, a deci­sion that has near-fatal con­se­quences for the colony. The colony’s only source for hap­pi­ness is very nearly ruined when his cho­sen Santa com­mits sui­cide. The Alien Super-Being (Coyne) lands nearby in a spher­i­cal space­craft, which con­ve­niently shrinks to a size suit­able to be swal­lowed until he needs it again. Even though Coyne wrote the script, and is quite a talker if the DVD’s bonus inter­views are to be judged, the role he assigned him­self has no dia­logue. He fills Santa’s shoes and repairs both Syrtis’s busted snow machine and the colony itself. He saves Christ­mas and allows the baby to be born.

Far more inter­est­ing are the beau­ti­ful opti­cal spe­cial effects (at least, I assume they’re opti­cal — if they actu­ally are dig­i­tal, they’re uncom­monly beau­ti­ful). Some of the abstract psy­che­delia was so freaky I feared it might burn out my aging tele­vi­sion. Most curi­ous is the strange pre­oc­cu­pa­tion with vagi­nal imagery. The Alien Super-Being passes in and out of his space­ship through a vagi­nal por­tal. Syr­tis hal­lu­ci­nates a vis­it­ing space­man with a pul­sat­ing vagina for a face, and later dreams of an entire march­ing band with sim­i­lar ori­fices in place of faces (say that ten times quickly).

A pre-movie sequence advises view­ers to have sex, smoke pot, or just do what­ever they like while watch­ing the movie. This bor­ing Dork Reporter dared to dis­obey these instruc­tions and sim­ply watched it alone at home, stone cold sober. Not to put too fine a point on it, I sus­pect Christ­mas on Mars is one of those things best expe­ri­enced in an altered state.


Offi­cial movie site: www.flaminglips.com/content/film

Buy the DVD and sound­track CD from Ama­zon and kick back a few pen­nies to The Dork Report.


Lou Reed’s Berlin

lou_reeds_berlin.jpg

 

Lou Reed’s 1973 album Berlin is a con­cept album relat­ing the tale of a doomed woman named Car­o­line liv­ing in the epony­mous city. The term “con­cept album,” then and now, invokes imme­di­ate con­de­scen­sion from fans and crit­ics alike, call­ing to mind the pro­gres­sive rock excesses of 1970s mega­bands The Who (Tommy and Quadrophe­nia) and Yes (Tales from Topo­graphic Oceans). The poet and arty down­town Man­hat­tan­ite Reed might have bet­ter served him­self by refer­ring to Berlin as some­thing more fancy-sounding, per­haps a “song cycle.”

Reed’s pre­vi­ous album Trans­former was a great com­mer­cial suc­cess, debut­ing the endur­ing hits Satel­lite of Love, Per­fect Day, and Walk on the Wild Side. To fol­low it up with some­thing like Berlin may have been loaded with artis­tic integrity, but was ask­ing for trou­ble in terms of mak­ing a liv­ing. I recall read­ing that enough mate­r­ial was recorded for it to be a double-lp, but it was edited down to a sin­gle disc before release (I can’t find a source for this fac­toid online, but I believe it was related in the liner notes of his 1992 ret­ro­spec­tive boxed set Between Thought and Expres­sion). Pro­duced by Bob Ezrin (whose con­cept album cre­den­tials also include Pink Floyd’s The Wall), it was a com­mer­cial dis­as­ter at the time. So, cursed from the begin­ning, the full stu­dio ver­sion has appar­ently never been released.

lou_reed_berlin_1.jpg“Car­o­line says / While bit­ing her lip / Life is meant to be more than this”

In ret­ro­spect, Reed now seems to have been com­pelled to flee from com­mer­cial suc­cess, or at the very least was bound and deter­mined not to repeat him­self. Reed’s other infa­mous com­mer­cial dis­as­ter Metal Machine Music was another delib­er­ate provo­ca­tion: even the most open minded musi­col­o­gist might char­i­ta­bly char­ac­ter­ize it as ear­split­ting noise. But Berlin is dif­fer­ent, hated more for its tone and sub­ject mat­ter than its sound. Sev­eral of the songs are lovely, but wow is the com­plete work depress­ing, full of anger, venom, resent­ment, death, despair, and guilt. The song “The Kids” is espe­cially har­row­ing, end­ing with a tape of chil­dren wailing.

Over time, the album was even­tu­ally redis­cov­ered. One of those reap­prais­ing Berlin was no less than artist and film­maker Julian Schn­abel. So it came to be, that 33 years after its release, Schn­abel pro­posed to Reed that Berlin really ought to be a film. Schn­abel is obvi­ously attracted to artists ded­i­cated to their work with utter con­vic­tion: rev­o­lu­tion­ary New York Artist Jean-Michel Basquiat in the epony­mous biopic, the gay poet Reinaldo Are­nas in Castro-era Cuba in Before Night Falls, and the par­a­lyzed writer Jean-Dominique Bauby in The Div­ing Bell and the But­ter­fly (read The Dork Report review). Berlin’s DVD bonus fea­tures include a brief con­ver­sa­tion with Reed and Schn­abel on Elvis Costello’s show Spec­ta­cle, in which Schn­abel describes his attrac­tion to the cin­ema from the per­spec­tive of a painter: he rev­er­ently refers to the canvas-like movie screen as “The Rectangle.”

Some­thing that only peo­ple who’ve seem him live would know is that Reed is a great gui­tar player. He’s also vis­i­bly in sur­pris­ingly good shape for a for­mer junkie (sorry, but it’s true). Does he prac­tice yoga? Reed in per­for­mance is supremely cool and detached, but some star­tlingly real emo­tion comes through in his vocal deliv­ery; he spits out the lines “they took her chil­dren away” from the song “The Kids” with real venom.

lou_reed_berlin_2.jpgAntony dances the rock minuet

Orig­i­nal gui­tarist Steve Hunter rejoined Reed for the Berlin tour, and can barely con­tain his plea­sure, despite the grim sub­ject mat­ter. Bob Ezrin con­ducts with great enthu­si­asm, but oddly, he seems to be fac­ing the drum­mer, away from the choir and wood­winds. One of my favorite bassists, Fer­nando Saun­ders, doesn’t really get to shine, but per­haps it was my sound sys­tem that couldn’t do him jus­tice. Julian Schnabel’s daugh­ter Lola directed film clips pro­jected dur­ing the per­for­mance, star­ring Emmanuelle Seigner as Caroline.

So Reed finally got a chance to present Berlin live, as a whole. Now the once-denigrated work has become a world tour, a the­atri­cal fea­ture film, a live album, and a DVD. Reed is now con­sid­ered a New York deity, not the erratic heroin addict he was back in the day. His career is far from over and there’s plenty of time for more drama, but could this be his ulti­mate revenge?

The encore includes a spe­cial treat, a lovely ver­sion of Rock Min­uet sung by Antony Hegarty (of Antony and the John­sons) in his oth­er­worldly voice. Rock Min­uet was not from the orig­i­nal album, but a spe­cial request from Schn­abel, who rightly felt it belonged. But it’s fol­lowed by a bum­mer: a desul­tory per­for­mance of the Vel­vet Under­ground stan­dard Sweet Jane. It’s a let­down that after the emo­tion­ally intense pro­ceed­ings, that Reed seems truly bored here and just walks through a song he’s prob­a­bly played hun­dreds if not thou­sands of times.


Offi­cial movie site: www.berlinthefilm.com

Buy the DVD from Ama­zon and kick back a few pen­nies to The Dork Report.


Sigur Rós: Heima

Sigur Ros Heima Movie Poster

 

Dean DeBlois’ doc­u­men­tary film Heima (mean­ing “com­ing home” or “at home”) fol­lows the band Sigur Rós on their sum­mer 2006 tour of their home coun­try Ice­land. The tour con­sisted of mostly free, unan­nounced con­certs, and with the band in three basic con­fig­u­ra­tions span­ning the con­tin­uüm of the purely acoustic to the fully elec­tric. The four core mem­bers Jón Þór “Jónsi” Bir­gis­son, Georg “Goggi” Hólm, Kjar­tan “Kjarri” Sveins­son, and Orri Páll Dýra­son per­form sev­eral acoustic songs just for the cam­era. The extended band (includ­ing string ensem­ble Ami­ina) is also seen per­form­ing out­doors, fully unplugged, at a con­cert protest­ing an envi­ron­men­tally destruc­tive dam to be built by the Ice­landic gov­ern­ment. Finally, in con­trast, we also see the full band in indoor con­certs with dra­matic light­ing and video effects.

Sigur Ros HeimaSigur Rós live in concert

Most Sigur Rós songs are sung in an invented lan­guage called Von­len­ska (“Hopelandic”), adding to the uni­ver­sal­ity and inter­na­tional appeal of their music. For the unini­ti­ated, Sigur Rós are a key rep­re­sen­ta­tive of the musi­cal genre “post-rock,” which gen­er­ally refers to highly evoca­tive, cin­e­matic, largely instru­men­tal music some­times com­pared to movie sound­track com­po­si­tion. Other notable bands work­ing in roughly the same idiom include Mog­wai, Explo­sions in the Sky, and Múm. In this Dork Reporter’s opin­ion, you can trace the genre’s her­itage back to the pro­gres­sive rock of Yes and King Crimson.

Sigur Ros HeimaSigur Rós live in concert

Inter­view clips and stun­ning land­scape images punc­tu­ate the film, mak­ing it almost as much about Ice­land itself as the band. The most incon­gru­ous clip is from the avant-garde band’s unlikely appear­ance on the Late Late Show with Craig Kil­born. They dis­cuss being unpre­pared for the busi­ness side of a career in music (lawyers, con­tracts, etc.), but under­stand that they have to think of the future.

The sec­ond disc of the two DVD set fea­tures full unin­ter­rupted per­for­mances, but with no two songs played in sequence, let alone a full con­cert. The frag­men­ta­tion of both the main doc­u­men­tary film and the sup­ple­men­tary fea­tures is mildly dis­ap­point­ing. How­ever, as reported in Pitch­fork, the band has plans for a full con­cert film directed by Vin­cent Morisset.


Offi­cial movie sites: www.heima.co.uk and www.heimafilm.com

Buy the DVD from Ama­zon and kick back a few pen­nies to The Dork Report.


Joy Division

Joy

 

Grant Gee's documentary Joy Division covers the all-too-brief history of the eponymous post-punk band from Manchester. Joy Division was tragically short-lived, only completing two albums before lead singer Ian Curtis' suicide in 1980, but disproportionately influential. Their sound is all over the early U2 albums Boy and October, and the contemporary band Interpol has made a career out of emulating Joy Division's sound.

Gee sets the scene of late 1970s Manchester as a grimy hellhole in which "there's nothing pretty." The core members of the band are perversely inspired by a Sex Pistols concert (their review: "shite, a car crash") to form their own band. Photographer and filmmaker Anton Corbijn took some of the most memorable portraits of the band. Used to Holland's health care system, he was shocked to see poverty in England. He describes Joy Division as undernourished and shivering in their thin coats. Gee also interviews Peter Sav­ille, the graphic designer that cre­ated the remark­ably stark album sleeves that were almost as influ­en­tial as the music itself. Early cham­pion Tony Wil­son, host of the TV show “So It Goes” and later Fac­tory Records impre­sario appears. Ear­lier the sub­ject of Michael Winterbottom’s fan­tas­tic biopic 24 Hour Party Peo­ple. Cur­tis’ widow Deb­o­rah does not seem to have par­tic­i­pated, but her side of the story appears in the excel­lent biopic Con­trol (read The Dork Report review), co-produced by her and directed by Corbijn.

joy_division_1.jpgMal­nour­ished and shiv­er­ing in their thin coats: a famous por­trait of Joy Divi­sion by Anton Corbijn

Ian Cur­tis is described as a reg­u­lar lad who fre­quently bought flow­ers for his wife. In other words, the oppo­site of punk. But he’s also char­ac­ter­ized as “bipo­lar,” moody and unpre­dictable even before his epilepsy man­i­fested itself in fre­quent, dra­matic grand mal seizures. His sin­gu­lar stage pres­ence was marked by his pecu­liar form of dance inspired by his seizures (and some­times he actu­ally expe­ri­enced seizures on stage). The nec­es­sary drug treat­ments caused huge mood swings, fur­ther com­pro­mis­ing his already unsteady men­tal health. Cur­tis con­tin­ued his day job Help­ing dis­abled peo­ple for the Civil Ser­vice even as the band was tak­ing off. In a heart­break­ing bit of syn­chronic­ity, his clas­sic song She’s Lost Con­trol is about an epilep­tic girl he met though his work.

Ian Curtis of Joy DivisionIan Cur­tis of Joy Division

Grant Gee’s clear exper­tise is musi­cal doc­u­men­tary. His 1998 doc­u­men­tary Meet­ing Peo­ple is Easy famously cap­tures Radio­head break­ing through to mass pop­u­lar­ity as their 1998 album OK Com­puter is almost uni­ver­sally declared the album of the year. The frank film shows emo­tion­ally frag­ile Thom Yorke almost phys­i­cally recoil­ing from fame, but receiv­ing wise coun­sel from men­tor Michael Stipe. Gee also co-directed the excel­lent 2005 Goril­laz con­cert film Demon Days Live at the Man­ches­ter Opera House, bet­ter even than the stu­dio album that pre­ceded it. Both films have per­ma­nent spots in The Dork Report’s DVD shelf.


Offi­cial movie site: JoyDivisionMovie.co.uk

Buy the DVD from Ama­zon and kick back a few pen­nies to The Dork Report.


Daniel Lanois: Here Is What Is

Here Is What Is movie poster

 

Daniel Lanois is a unique musi­cian, as gifted a singer-songwriter in his own right as he is a col­lab­o­ra­tor and pro­ducer. I orig­i­nally came to rec­og­nize his name after find­ing it listed in the cred­its of many key items in The Dork Report’s for­mi­da­ble music col­lec­tion, includ­ing Peter Gabriel’s So and Us, U2’s The Joshua Tree and Achtung Baby, and Bob Dylan’s Oh Mercy and Time Out of Mind. His 1993 solo album For the Beauty of Wynona remains an all-time per­sonal favorite.

The fea­ture doc­u­men­tary Here Is What Is pre­miered at the Toronto Film Fes­ti­val in 2007, directed by Lanois, Adam Samuels, and Adam Vol­lick. It cap­tures the record­ing of the album of the same name, but also serves as a kind of ret­ro­spec­tive and mis­sion state­ment. Con­ver­sa­tions between Lanois and early men­tor (now equal) Brian Eno punc­tu­ate the film. Lanois states to Eno his inten­tions for the movie: to cre­ate a film about the beauty of music, not every­thing that sur­rounds it (which I took to mean hagiog­ra­phy, celebrity gos­sip, and the some­times tedious behind-the-sceens doc­u­men­ta­tion typ­i­cal of the genre). Eno sug­gests that his film should try to show peo­ple that art often grows out of noth­ing, or from the sim­plest of seeds in the right sit­u­a­tions, not from what out­siders might assume are the mirac­u­lous inspi­ra­tions of allegedly bril­liant or gifted artistes.

Daniel Lanois and Brian Eno in Here Is What IsDaniel Lanois and Brian Eno record­ing their new ambi­ent mas­ter­work, “Music for Staircases”

Lanois is Cana­dian by birth, but has a spe­cial affin­ity for the Amer­i­can South, espe­cially New Orleans. He cred­its New Orleans for the orig­i­nal sen­sual groove that formed the basis of rock music. Per­haps intended as a visual echo of this the­ory, the stun­ningly beau­ti­ful Car­olina Cerisola often appears danc­ing in her scanties.

Lanois details his long­time, fruit­ful col­lab­o­ra­tion with drum­mer Brian Blade. Leg­endary key­boardist of The Band, Garth Hud­son, also joins them in the stu­dio for some truly awe­some per­for­mances. One of my favorite sequences inter­cuts between “The Maker” per­formed by Lanois’ band live in stu­dio, cov­ered by Willie Nel­son and Emmy­lou Har­ris, and Lanois’ band live on stage. Billy Bob Thorn­ton, still friends from col­lab­o­rat­ing on the score to Sling Blade in 1996, drops in for a visit. We catch excit­ing glimpses of record­ing U2’s forth­com­ing album (since chris­tened No Line on the Hori­zon, to be released in Feb­ru­ary 2009) with Eno and Steve Lillywhite.

Daniel Lanois in Here Is What IsWhich but­ton dials down Bono’s ego?

Lanois names a pri­mar­ily influ­ence to be the Jimi Hen­drix Expe­ri­ence, which he describes as a fairly straight­for­ward rock trio but with ambi­tious, exper­i­men­tal pro­duc­tion. He describes how he him­self approaches pro­duc­tion, in just one word: “feel.” He report­edly had a con­tentious rela­tion­ship with Dylan in the stu­dio, but the resul­tant albums are clas­sics, and Dylan affirmed that “you can’t buy ‘feel.’” Another Lanois apho­rism, “max­i­mize the room,” means to make the most of what you have, rather than invite guest musi­cians or order up more equipment.

Here Is What Is fea­tures full per­for­mances of songs, which is espe­cially wel­come com­pared to two recent music doc­u­men­taries recently screened by The Dork Report: Low in Europe (read The Dork Report review) and You May Need a Mur­derer (read The Dork Report review), which both shy away from actu­ally show­ing Low per­form. Here Is What Is’s visu­als are some­times com­pro­mised with cheesy video effects. The film is at its best when sim­ply fol­low­ing the hyp­notic move­ments of Lanois’ hands on his pedal steel guitar.


Offi­cial movie site: daniellanois.com/hereiswhatis

Buy the DVD from Ama­zon and kick back a few pen­nies to The Dork Report.


Low: You May Need a Murderer

Low You May Need a Murderer

 

It may seem overkill for the so-called slow­core band Low to be the sub­ject of another doc­u­men­tary fea­ture film only a mere four years after Low in Europe, but it must be because they’re just so inter­est­ing. Film­maker David Kleijwegt’s You May Need a Mur­derer could just as well be titled Low in Amer­ica, as he speaks with found­ing mem­bers Alan Sparhawk and Mimi Parker at home in Duluth, Min­nesota, and on tour across Amer­ica in sup­port of the Drums & Guns album. The key char­ac­ter­is­tics of that record are what most inform the film: Sparhawk’s mood post-nervous break­down, and Low’s most overtly expressed social and polit­i­cal com­men­tary yet. Low had also just adopted a new bass player, Matt Liv­ingston, after Zak Sally’s long tenure, but he does not par­tic­i­pate (he’s only barely glimpsed, even in live onstage footage).

You May Need a Mur­derer is a much more sat­is­fy­ing film over­all than Low in Europe. Whether by their own desire to open up or by Kleijwegt’s per­sua­sive inter­view skills, Sparhawk and Parker are notably more can­did and direct, espe­cially on the topic of their faith. Which is exactly what one would sin­gle out as the most inter­est­ing thing about Low: Sparhawk and Parker are a mar­ried Mor­mon cou­ple that that tithe a tenth of all their income to the church. I sup­pose Low might belong in that rare cat­e­gory of bands whose music is often char­ac­ter­ized by reli­gious beliefs, like the often overtly Chris­t­ian U2, but would never be filed under “Inspi­ra­tional” in record stores. Unlike U2’s joy­ous hymns and opti­mistic calls to activism, Low’s inspi­ra­tions are con­sid­er­ably more dark and apocalyptic.

Low You May Need a Murderer

When Low gets polit­i­cal they do so with a vengeance. Sparhawk is in despair over America’s econ­omy and pol­i­tics, and has long believed that the world may reach a cri­sis point in his life­time (he stops short of pre­dict­ing it will actu­ally “end”). Sparhawk’s gen­uine beliefs gives him the real author­ity to crit­i­cize George W. Bush’s claim to faith. The title song “You May Need a Mur­derer” is sung from the point of view of one who goes before his god and asks to be used as a war­rior. It becomes clear that the speaker is in effect star­ing into a mir­ror, bring­ing his own bag­gage to an imag­i­nary con­ver­sa­tion, and jus­ti­fy­ing his own dark impulses. Sparhawk is, need­less to say, talk­ing about self-proclaimed men of faith like Bush and Tony Blair. The song is utterly ter­ri­fy­ing, and raises the hairs on the back of my neck every time. It may be the ulti­mate state­ment on the topic, and does not com­pare favor­ably to the similarly-themed song by Bright Eyes, “When the Pres­i­dent Talks to God.”

The most sur­pris­ing per­sonal topic to come up is Sparhawk’s appar­ent ner­vous break­down in 2005. We see Sparhawk appear­ing very ner­vous back­stage before a show, but oth­er­wise func­tional. But he describes him­self as hav­ing been “clin­i­cally delu­sional” at the point of his break­down, and while hav­ing nom­i­nally recov­ered, he also cops to being a drug addict. To him, the biggest con­flict these two aspects of his life have is with his religion.


Must Read: The Speed of Silence review

Must Read: Pop­Mat­ters review

Offi­cial Low site: www.chairkickers.com

Buy the DVD from Ama­zon and kick back a few pen­nies to The Dork Report.


26 Albums I’m Told I Should Remove From My Collection

100albums2.jpgThe author, with some of the offend­ing articles

Chalkills, the XTC fan­site, wants to help you sift through the detri­tus of your music col­lec­tion, pronto: One Hun­dred Albums You Should Remove from Your Col­lec­tion Imme­di­ately (spot­ted on DGM­Live).

I own (or once owned) a whop­ping 26% of these over­rated (so they say) canon­i­cal clas­sics! Hey, Chalkhills, what did I ever do to you? I love XTC (Apple Venus and Wasp Star being two of my all-time favorite albums, hands-down), so my tastes can’t be all bad, can they? But hav­ing read your list, I find that for every one of your selec­tions that brings steam out of my ears, there’s another with which I have to begrudg­ingly agree.

So here’s my anno­tated list, includ­ing, for fun, the for­mat in which I pur­chased each offend­ing title and whether or not I even­tu­ally dis­carded it:

U2 - The Joshua Tree
2. U2 — The Joshua Tree
20th Anniver­sary Edi­tion boxed set
U2’s true mas­ter­piece Achtung Baby was yet to come, but the com­plex depth of that record wouldn’t have been pos­si­ble with­out the unironic earnest­ness of The Joshua Tree. And yes, maybe I’m a snob (not to men­tion old) for upgrad­ing to the remas­tered anniver­sary edi­tion, but just the other day I lis­tened to the revived record­ing of “Moth­ers of the Dis­ap­peared” with my jaw lit­er­ally hang­ing open and the prover­bial chills run­ning up and down my spine.


Nirvana - Nevermind
3. Nir­vana — Nev­er­mind
cas­sette (dis­carded)
It was a gift, I swear. While I intel­lec­tu­ally under­stand what the mass-market break­through of Nir­vana did for music (basi­cally, spark­ing a fresh explo­sion of so-called “alter­na­tive” music com­pa­ra­ble to punk’s effect on a stag­nant world of disco and sta­dium rock in the early 1970s), I always pre­ferred the rock ‘n’ roll songcraft of Pearl Jam to the loud ‘n’ sloppy depres­sion of Nirvana.


The Beatles - Let It Be
5. The Bea­t­les — Let It Be
cd, The “Naked” ver­sion
Any antipa­thy towards the Bea­t­les seems a bit strange com­ing from an XTC fan­site — surely Andy Par­tridge and Colin Mould­ing are acolytes. Do I still have to dis­card Let It Be if I own the McCartney-approved “Naked” edi­tion, as opposed to the orig­i­nal with Wall-of-Schmaltz orches­tral over­dubs by Phil Spec­tor? Let it Be is not my favorite Bea­t­les long-player (that would def­i­nitely be The White Album), and obvi­ously one the lads tossed off at the tail end of their (actu­ally quite brief) asso­ci­a­tion. But how is that any dif­fer­ent, really, from their early quickie LPs recorded in mere hours with the aid of amphetamines?


The Police - Synchronicity
7. The Police — Syn­chronic­ity
cas­sette (dis­carded)
I agree with Chalkhills’ assess­ment that Syn­chronic­ity is a sur­pris­ingly dark album for a main­stream plat­inum hit, but I believe that’s exactly what makes it spe­cial. What other band, at the peak of their com­mer­cial suc­cess, released such a para­noid, neu­rotic album? OK, maybe Radiohead’s Kid A.


Lou Reed - Transformer
8. Lou Reed — Trans­former
vinyl
Agreed. “Walk on the Wild Side” and “Satel­lite of Love” are both mas­ter­pieces, but I couldn’t name a sin­gle other song from the album. Am I redeemed by own­ing the vinyl edi­tion? It must be said that it earns extra Cool Points for being pro­duced by David Bowie, but the back cover pho­to­graph of Lou with the boner in his tight jeans is just plain gross.


Miles Davis - Bitches Brew
9. Miles Davis — Bitches Brew
Com­plete Bitches Brew Ses­sions boxed set
Yes, I am that poseur that owns the Com­plete Ses­sions boxed set. I have to very, very strongly object to Chalkhills’ dis­missal here (and I do I detect a strong anti-jazz bias?). Miles changed music for­ever when he plugged in to rock, fusion, and funk. Try­ing to pre­tend Bitches Brew never hap­pened is as fruit­less as still com­plain­ing about Bob Dylan going rock (or coun­try, or Chris­t­ian, etc…) or The Sex Pis­tols giv­ing the world the fin­ger. The dif­fer­ence is that it still sounds fresh and new.


Led Zeppelin - Physical Graffiti
12. Led Zep­pelin — Phys­i­cal Graf­fiti
vinyl
I love me some Zep­pelin, but I have to agree that Phys­i­cal Graf­fiti isn’t a keeper. It is, how­ever, bet­ter than its follow-up Pres­ence (but that’s not say­ing much).


Beck - Midnite Vultures
19. Beck — Mid­nite Vul­tures
cd (sold)
Agreed. I lis­tened to it once, and then sold it as quickly as I could. Blech!


Derek and the Dominoes - Layla and Other Assorted Love Songs
21. Derek and the Domi­noes — Layla and Other Assorted Love Songs
cd (sold)
I could not agree more: two bril­liant songs in “Layla” and “Lit­tle Wing,” padded out with a for­get­table batch of filler. Leg­end has it the substance-abusing Clap­ton lit­er­ally does not recall record­ing the album.


The Who - Tommy
22. The Who — Tommy
vinyl (triple gate­fold with lyric book­let)
I don’t dis­agree that Tommy is loaded down with a lot of silli­ness and filler, but hey, it’s a rock opera, and the first one at that. What do you expect?


U2 - Zooropa
26. U2 — Zooropa
cd
I firmly, absolutely dis­agree. Zooropa may be a prod­uct of its time (the cut ‘n’ paste post­mod­ern media over­loaded 1990s), but it includes some of U2’s all-time best songs, includ­ing the title track and Stay (Far­away So Close). The mul­ti­lay­ered pro­duc­tion by Flood and Brian Eno may make the songs “sound weird,” but it also rewards a life­time of repeat listens.


The Flaming Lips - The Soft Bulletin
32. The Flam­ing Lips — The Soft Bul­letin
cd
I regret­tably agree. Give me Yoshimi Bat­tles the Pink Robots any day, but I just can’t get into this one.


Dave Brubeck - Time Out
34. Dave Brubeck — Time Out
cd
Blas­pheme! Blas­pheme! Again with the jazz hate! I was not aware any­body dis­liked this album. What’s wrong with you? If you had included Miles Davis’ Kind of Blue on your list, I think I would have had an aneurism.


Wilco - Being There
39. Wilco — Being There
cd (sold)
Like the rest of the world, I loved Yan­kee Hotel Fox­trot, so I sought out some older Wilco albums. And I sus­pect like most of those peo­ple, I got rid of them.


The Police - Zenyatta Mondatta
42. The Police — Zeny­atta Mon­datta
cd
Dis­agree! Zeny­atta Mon­datta is my favorite Police album. Granted, “De Doo Doo Doo, De Da Da Da” is the epit­ome of pop silli­ness (except for maybe “Louie Louie” and R.E.M.‘s “Stand”), but the rest of the album is full of clas­sic reggae-inflected new wave pop.


Jane's Addiction - Nothing's Shocking
44. Jane’s Addic­tion — Nothing’s Shock­ing
cd
As Perry Far­rell him­self once sang, “Stop!” Jane’s Addiction’s debut stu­dio album Nothing’s Shock­ing is a fan­tas­tic batch of songs. Perry Farrell’s wild per­sona and Dave Navarro’s famously louche lifestyle got all the press, but my god, haven’t you lis­tened to the rhythm sec­tion? Jane’s Addic­tion proved that prog could live with­out shame in a new world after Led Zep­pelin, and they got even bet­ter in their next album Rit­ual De Lo Habit­ual (before self-destructing, alas).


Cocteau Twins - Heaven or Las Vegas
50. Cocteau Twins — Heaven or Las Vegas
cd
I don’t have a really strong opin­ion about it, but I enjoy lis­ten­ing to it from time to time. I didn’t even know it was espe­cially pop­u­lar. Sorry, jeez.


Radiohead - I Might be Wrong
51. Radio­head — I Might be Wrong
cd
It’s a fair state­ment that most live albums begin life as con­trac­tual oblig­a­tions. But what actu­ally does bother me more about I Might Be Wrong is that it’s basi­cally an EP sold at LP prices. That said, the per­for­mances are strong, and prove that the weird, arty music on Kid A and Amne­siac can and really do come to life on stage.


Tori Amos - Under the Pink
54. Tori Amos — Under the Pink
cd (sold)
I loved Tori’s offi­cial solo debut Lit­tle Earth­quakes, but I sus­pect my sen­si­tive teenager self may have been crush­ing on the cute & quirky red­head at the piano.


Arrested Development - 3 Years, 5 Months, & 2 Days In The Life Of...
55. Arrested Devel­op­ment — 3 Years, 5 Months, & 2 Days In The Life Of…
cd (sold)
”…non-threatening rap-lite for sen­si­tive white lib­er­als who want to “keep it real” and expe­ri­ence hip-hop safely.” Zing! Busted.


Pink Floyd - The Dark Side of the Moon
64. Pink Floyd — The Dark Side of the Moon
30th Anniver­sary SACD
Again, blas­pheme! Yes, enough copies of Dark Side of the Moon exist on this planet to form their own con­ti­nent, but don’t you think there is a rea­son for that? Mere momen­tum alone can’t be enough to explain its appeal. If you want to sin­gle out one Pink Floyd album for being over­rated and over­pur­chased, please allow me to direct you to The Wall, which unlike most other Floyd albums, appeals to sullen imma­ture teenagers but does not grow in sophis­ti­ca­tion as they do.


Sarah McLachlan - Fumbling Towards Ecstasy
65. Sarah McLach­lan — Fum­bling Towards Ecstasy, Sur­fac­ing
cds (still on my shelf but I really ought to sell them)
Ouch! You got me here. I once liked both of these, but quickly fell out of love with them. I main­tain there are some decent songs under­neath the slick adult con­tem­po­rary overproduction.


U2 - War
69. U2 — War
vinyl
U2 charts no less than three times on this haters list, rival­ing the Bea­t­les and the entire genre of jazz for rais­ing Chalkhills’ bile. I sug­gest revis­it­ing “Sun­day Bloody Sun­day” and tell me if the drums don’t make the hair on the back of your neck stand up.


R.E.M. - Out of Time
80. R.E.M. — Out of Time
cd
OK, maybe it’s not their best, and it is espe­cially dis­ap­point­ing for hav­ing come right after the leg­endary, essen­tial album Green. But “Shiny Happy Peo­ple” is maybe the best 3/4-time pop song ever, and the whole sec­ond half is superb.


Grateful Dead Reckoning
83. Grate­ful Dead — any album
Reck­on­ing (lp) & Infrared Roses (cd)
Yep, I picked up a sec­ond­hand vinyl copy of Reck­on­ing for pen­nies and it’s pretty loose and ram­bling, even for the Dead. But I do dig the crazy elec­tronic jams on Infrared Roses, man.


Sting - Ten Summoner's Tales
90. Sting — Ten Summoner’s Tales
cd (sold)
I’ll cop to lik­ing “Fields of Gold” back in the day. Oh god, did I just admit that out loud on the internet?


There, done. Finally, I just want to say that yes, I do have a sense of humor and I get the point of Chalkhill’s rant. Respond­ing to their List of Hate was just an excuse for me to scrib­ble out a few words about some of the dusti­est old arti­facts from my music col­lec­tion. Thanks!

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